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hold me now, as I am alone with my memories, and they hurt
that wonderful summer
that awful summer
that summer

.::[the first summer of my life]::.
(me)
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beautiful sunny days
captivating dusks watching the sun go
Down, Down
looking into each other's eyes
everthing was right and everything was wonderful
that summer would last forever
never turn into the deadly fall
never turn to bring regrets
questioning
never to end
the days, they ended
always the same
always so wonderful
yet always so horrible
talking, laughing, happiness
depression, anger, sadness
that summer feels like it must have been
the first summer of my Life
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I'm such a b*tch. such a horrible mother f*cking loser.
gah. there's no one I can f*cking talk to
my dad would just make a joke out of it
or get all lecture let me talk to you about life stuff
or angry
my mom would just get angry
yell at me
we'd fight
my friends...I don't want to burden them with my sh*t...and I don't feel like telling the world

I si-ed today for the first time since like sept or oct
method: scratching via safety pin
people please try not to bug me about it
I just feel like saying it
I know it's a bad thing (in my opinion)
it felt good
I'm thinking of trying salting
I wonder if we have any ice cubes?

oh yea
I wanna make cinnamon muffins, IF someone ever goes and gets more cooking oil.

what a sh*tty day
what a sh*tty life